We are told from Scripture that the relationship with our spouse is to include love, respect, understanding, honor, harmony, sympathetic kindness, etc. (cf. 1 Peter 3:1-9; Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18, 19).

Have you ever found yourself irritated with your spouse – not liking him or her very much – even though you know you love your spouse? Most of us have had those days! It’s perfectly normal. No two people can live together for any length of time without once in awhile rubbing each other the wrong way.

What’s important is how you handle these kinds of times. If you let those feelings of hurt or disappointment take over – your marriage will suffer. You will create a rift in your relationship. So you have to make a choice. You have to decide to love. You may not feel loving, but if you decide to love, the feelings will follow.

You have to learn to demonstrate unconditional love to your spouse. Unconditional love is necessary for a strong marriage. Are you practicing unconditional love in your marriage? Here are some questions to consider:
• Have you accepted your spouse’s failures or weaknesses?
• Do you support your spouse, or do you see his or her weaknesses as projects to fix?
• Are you afraid to be honest because your spouse might not accept you?

There is a huge difference between unconditional love and conditional love. Conditional love blames a person, expects things in return, and asks for more. Unconditional love accepts the person, expects nothing in return and sacrifices.

Conditional love says:
• “I will love you only if…”
• “I don’t know if I can handle the tough times. If things get too bad I’m outta here.”
• “I might not be able to forgive you if you tell me…”

Unconditional love says:
• “I will love you even if…”
• “I will stay with you no matter what. I will always love you, even in the tough times.”
• “I know I’ll still love you if you tell me…”

Your spouse isn’t perfect and you are the one person who sees all his or her faults and fears. What do you do with what you know about your spouse?
• Do you tease your spouse with hurtful words?
• Worse, do you tease your spouse with hurtful words in front of others?
• Do you put your spouse down?
• Do you withhold your love until your spouse corrects certain faults?

If you answered “yes” to a majority of these questions, you are loving conditionally and creating a huge fault line that can at any moment open up and become a large chasm between you. Conditional love creates a marriage in which each spouse is more concerned with getting his or her own way, instead of showing their spouse grace and love.

Your response and connection to your spouse are crucial to the health of your marriage and family. Your expression of unconditional love and acceptance is the force that will hold you together in the midst of the testing times in your marriage. Your standing with each other in the painful times as well as the good times is one of the primary elements of a great marriage.

If you love each other conditionally, you’ll end up living like two immature children – each trying to get your own way and resenting the other person when you don’t. You may still be married, but you’ll miss out on the joy of a great marriage. Also, husbands and wives who don’t get unconditional love in their marriage may look for it somewhere else. And while they’re looking for that unconditional love – they’re pulling away from their spouse.

Learning unconditional love is worth it, but it’s not easy. Giving your spouse the security of your unwavering love requires grace, patience, and affirmation of the good things, encouragement, respect and time. Even when you don’t feel like showing love, do it anyway. You need it; your spouse needs it; your marriage needs it.

Here are some tips on how to keep your dream marriage alive.

• Talk through the issues. Communicate freely with each other and keep no inappropriate secrets.
• Love each other deeply, without strings. Forgive your spouse when you are wronged and seek forgiveness when you offend.
• Begin each day by asking, “What can I do for you?” Eagerly seek to discover and meet each other’s needs.
• Hang tough. Pray without ceasing. Instead of caving in to difficult circumstances, face and conquer them.
• Focus on Christ, and love your spouse. Consciously guard yourselves against threats and temptations that could pull your marriage apart.
• Pray together daily. Stay close. Work at maintaining emotional, physical and spiritual closeness.
• Keep the chemistry with your spouse alive. Be committed to keeping your relationship fresh.

Keeping your marriage strong, vibrant and fresh isn’t always easy. But if you put in the time and effort, you’ll discover how truly amazing your marriage can be.

• Wives, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:1-4).

• Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers (1 Peter 3:7).

• Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:8-9).

• Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe (Philippians 2:14-15).

• Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews 12:14-15).

• Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification (Romans 14:19).

• When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly (1 Corinthians 4:12-13).

• Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will (2 Timothy 2:23-26).

• And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:30-32).

“God’s Blessing’s To All Marriages – Peace & Harmony”